Helpless
by shadowhuntingdauntlessdemigod
Summary: Tag to 13x21, an alternate course of events. Dean doesn't get a glance to see if Sam is truly dead or not before he's dragged into the dark cavern, a trail of blood and scuffs on the floor being the only markings that he was ever there. Sam's just…gone, and there's no way in hell Dean's leaving him behind.


_Like many other writers on here, I found that a little tag to this episode was necessary._

 _Anything recognizable belongs to the SPN people, not me._

* * *

Dean is completely and utterly helpless. It's not a situation he's used to being in, and it's one that he absolutely abhors whenever his brother is concerned. He's pinned to a wall, trying to keep a vampire off him when he notices that two have Sam in their grip, and he isn't winning the fight.

"Sammy!" he screams, the echo going down the cavern, as if it alone could get the vampire's holds on all of them to release. But the strength of the vampire on him doesn't fade, and he's forced to watch as Sam is restrained, vulnerable to the next attack.

"Dean!" It's pained and desperate and quite frankly, it's the worst sound Dean's ever heard. At least, it is until the vampire's got its fangs into Sam's throat. It hits an artery when it pulls away, and immediately Sam's blood begins to coat his clothes and the dusty cavern floor beneath him. There's another echo of Dean's name, but it's more in shock, a last breath. If Sam Winchester is granted any last words before he dies, it's fitting that it's his brother's name.

It takes Dean right back to Cold Oak, where he was again helpless to watch as Sam was killed right in front of him. Except this time, he doesn't get to hold his little brother and whisper how everything will be okay. He doesn't get to try and comfort him as the light leaves his eyes. He doesn't get to be present as a source of reassurance as Sam's soul leaves his body.

He doesn't get a glance to see if Sam is truly dead or not before he's dragged into the dark cavern, a trail of blood and scuffs on the floor being the only markings that he was ever there. Sam's just…gone, and a rush of anger allows Dean to get the upper hand on the vamp on him, and shotgun another before it can do any more damage. He vaguely hears Cas go after Sam, following the blood trail, and Dean is right on his heels.

He's prepared to go in, guns blazing, until he finds his brother and fixes him up, be that with a bandage or with a proper funeral pyre burial.

But he doesn't get the chance to do that either.

Because as he's headed down the path towards whatever awaits at the end, Cas comes back, terribly empty-handed. Cas stops him before he can go any further, a strong hand against his chest warning him against proceeding.

"Sam," he starts, eyes wild, because his brother is down there somewhere, and he needs help.

"He's gone," is Cas's simple explanation, which just won't fly. Sam can't be gone, he can't be, there's a trail that will lead right to him if the blood doesn't run out first.

"No!" Dean yells, and again tries to push back against Cas to get to the tunnel behind him where Sam disappeared. But Cas, his and Sam's guardian angel, pulls him back again, refusing to let him pass.

"We don't have time! Dean, we can't save him." His voice is so final, so forceful, that it floors Dean and he's forced to look past Cas in disbelief. Sam is down there somewhere, and Dean needs to get to him, dead or alive.

 _And if we die, we'll do that together too._

Sam't words, said only a mere few days ago, echo back in his head so strongly that Dean tries to push past Cas again. They don't have time? They don't have _time?_ "Then we'll make time! He's down there, and we're getting him back, no matter what state he's in," he argues in a tone that should make it clear that this isn't an argument. It's a need, it's an action that Dean has to fulfill.

"Dean, judging by the blood, there's a good chance he's already gone-"

"I don't give a damn!" Dean shouts back and cuts Cas off. "He's not dying alone, Cas, now get out of my way." For the first time, his eyes turn from the tunnel to the angel standing in front of him. They'll make time, they'll follow the trail, they'll get Sam back, one way or another.

"I can't. Dean, the caverns have too many branching tunnels. We don't know how many vampires there are, and we're down two people. If we go after him, we will very likely end up dead as well," Cas tries to reason with him, all the while holding Dean back with a forceful grip on his jacket.

 _And if we die, we'll do that together too._

Dean's fine with that. He supposes he shouldn't be, not when they're so close to Mom and Jack, the people that had put a smile on Sam's face only hours ago. But their whole mission doesn't mean a damn is Sam isn't there to enjoy their family reunion with them.

"I am sorry, Dean, but we can't take the risk. We need to get out of here while we can, and we can return once we find Jack and Mary."

It's a sound argument. They've got people to get to safety.

But it's not enough. It's not like Cold Oak, where he felt Sam die in his arms and had a body left over. It's not like the werewolf hunt, where he could promise Sam he was coming back for him. The only thing those scenarios had in common with the one right now was that Sam was gone.

Dead, Dean didn't know. Rationally, he did, but not in his bones. And until he knew for sure, he didn't give a damn about sound arguments.

"You guys go, I'll meet you outside with Sam when I get him." There's a sense of finality to that statement. He's getting Sam, come hell or high water, and no one, not even Cas, is standing in his way. It's probably a suicide mission, but at least Sam won't be dying alone in some cold, dark cave with Dean helpless to do anything except watch.

"Dean," the angel tries again. There's some movement behind Dean, which he can only assume is Maggie and Gabriel, the only surviving members of their party, listening in on what's going down.

"Every second you keep me here is another second that Sam gets dragged further away. _Move, Cas,"_ he practically orders, voice a deep growl. His hand is holding the machete in a vice-like grip that even his own death won't be able to break. "I am not leaving him to die alone down here."

"You know it's a suicide mission," comes Gabriel's voice from behind him, but Dean doesn't even bother to turn around. From down the tunnel, there's more rustling, and Dean doesn't want to imagine what, or who, it entails. Dean doesn't bother to reply, but forces his hand down on Cas's grip, breaking it easier than he should be able to.

"Come find us when you find Mom and Jack," he directs at what remains of the group. If they're lucky, they'll find both brothers dead, side by side, as it should be.

 _And if we die, we'll do that together too._

It keeps echoing, keeps repeating, and Dean finds that he's not keen on having it stop. Anything is better than having Sam's last desperate call of his name going through his head instead.

"Dean," Cas tries again, and when Dean doesn't listen, there's a quiet, almost imperceptible, "I'm sorry", his lips barely moving as he says it.

Before Dean can move, Cas's hand comes up and there's a light touch to his forehead. Dean doesn't even get one foot in the direction of Sam before his world blackens and he crumples to the ground in an unconscious heap next to the trail of Sam's blood.

He doesn't get the chance to find out what happened to Sam, even though the hole in his heart tells him what he refuses to accept. He doesn't get the chance to clean his brother up and bury him properly. He doesn't get the chance to say goodbye or tell Sam to save him a beer in heaven, or explain to him that he tried to go after him. He doesn't get the chance to make good on one of Sam's final statements.

He'll find out later that Cas and Gabriel carried his unconscious body out of the tunnel, leaving Sam's behind, in favor of coming back to get it later with more people. He'll find out later that they probably made the right call, because everyone gets back to the camp in one piece and later, Sam walks back into the camp hours after Dean let him go, and the world begins to right itself.

But in the present darkness of his unconscious mind, Sam's words echo back to him, and he makes his little brother a promise that he'll never be helpless to save him, never again.

* * *

 _Just as a note, overall, I loved the episode, but a few things irked me like they did some other people. The main thing for me was Cas's excuse that they didn't have time to go back and further look or Sam. I understand, plot wise, they had to leave, but I feel like a better explanation was needed, at least for me. That, and Dean deciding to leave Sam was very quick, especially without a body. Yes, he has people to protect and get back to, but something about it just felt different. And, that's where this story came from! Reviews and other opinions are always appreciated!_


End file.
